A Day Outloud: September 5, 2009

I was tired when I woke up this morning ‘cause I didn't rest well due to the heat. It was soo hot last night. When I opened my eyes I realized I had finally slept; and I just laid there staring at the ceiling. I didn't want to read, pray, or do anything. . .I didn’t want to disturb my body temperature, my hormones (those f**kin’ “private” summers). . . I just wanted to enjoy the coolness. So I turned on the television. . .

There was a McDonald’s commercial on. I'm not sure how I was suddenly so enticed but I succumbed to the invite and busted out of the house to buy a breakfast deluxe! I rationalized it being the perfect solution to not turning on any heat in my duplex. I couldn't have been more wrong. And it’s not like I didn't already know! A man ate McDonalds for 30 days and gained 2+ pounds a day!!! The food is crap! What was I thinking??? (Apparently I wasn't). Dang.

I was void of television all while I vacationed and didn’t miss it at all. I didn’t sleep to the television and I didn’t wake up to it. I was fine without it. I read and I journaled and I was up everyday enjoying being present with me and my surroundings. So why can’t I do that here. At home. In California. What’s different? There are things to do here. There are places to go. There are people to hang out with and be around. Why am I falling back into those old habits? Cause it’s hot as hell. And I would have to drive to get where I need to go! Maybe if my car had air conditioning that would help. But it doesn’t. So it makes any drive, especially across that freeway in the heat, miserable!!

I’ve got to create the possibility of day to day living without the television. I’ve got to establish a life, a routine, right here at home—in California—without it. I was provoked and manipulated by that thing today! McDonald’s?? C’mon now.