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Alhambra by way of Long Beach, California, United States
About me: Everyday I am evolving, everyday growing, trying to conquer the fears that keep me from embracing the unlimited possibilities. I am working at creating a loving relationship with myself, making no apologies for who I was or who I am becoming. This is my life outloud.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Landmark Experience

The Landmark Forum is a 3-day intense workshop that forces you to look at yourself to uncover what has held you back from living your life full out. It was incredible. . .the perfect precursor to my summer excursion! It will explain my blog postings titled “My Genesis” and “The First Layer”. As a result, my life will never be the same! I attended June 19-21 and 23, 2009 and posted these entries on Facebook:

Saturday, June 20, 2009 at 7:51am

If I weren’t concerned about “looking good” I wouldn’t go back! I would chalk up a $395 loss and call it a day. It was an emotional roller-coaster for me. The worse part was being stripped of note-taking (which is a method I use to “process”). As a symbol of surrendering to enrollment and being in the present, I walked up front and gave the coach my pencil. I honored my agreement (one I didn’t know I made) to not take notes!!

I was frustrated and confused for 95% of the time which, as I understand, was fine. Five percent is all most participants get on the first day. At one point I became angry because I couldn’t comment on a particular piece of conversation we were on. Many moments/minutes throughout the day I simply “checked-out”. I was overwhelmed with “language” and became more and more frustrated because I wasn’t given time to “process”. And breaks weren’t breaks in the way that I know breaks to be. Noooooo, I had “assignments” during the breaks. I so needed to “disappear” from it all and say “To hell with this!!” But, I didn’t walk to “not look good” and not honor my agreement to do all I had been asked to do in order to make “it” work.

Today is DAY 2 and I am going back. I’m going back because I know all that I experienced yesterday is part of the “process”…it’s part of me feeling uncomfortable with what I’m about to uncover and disclose in my life in order to invent the possibility(ies) I have for my myself and my life. Admitting to the areas in my life where I have been inauthentic and acknowledging my lack of integrity--toward myself will be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do in life!! But I will do it. As painful as it will be and as vulnerable as it may leave me, with all the risks involved, all that is potentially at stake, I will do it. I will commit to the process and I will grow and learn and uncover and unleash.

And so today, today, Holy Spirit, I begin by acknowledging you as my strength. I open myself up to this (Landmark) process— and all You have for me. I give you permission to coach me through the trained and capable coaches and facilitators and the wonderful participants (just like me) to enlighten me and give me revelation in areas of my life that need your attention. In Jesus’ Name. . .

Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 8:05am

Somebody used to sing a song that said, "What a difference a day makes. . . 24 little hours." (Exhale)

I'm late so that's all I have right now. Just praise God for a new day and "transformation" by the renewing of my mind!

I love me.

Monday, June 22, 2009 at 1:41pm

I don’t even know where or how to begin. I am left speechless. God used the Landmark Forum to totally transform my life!! I am empowered to live life full out!

For many, many years I’ve been crying, “I want to be happy. Lord, I just want to be happy. Lord, make me happy. Lord why ain’t I happy? Yes, your joy is my strength, but I’m not happy; and I want to be happy. Lord, could you please show me how to be happy!!!” Part of the purpose for jumping on a train for a 45 day journey across the country was to find “happiness”. Maybe it’s not in Alhambra or Long Beach or the state of California; maybe it’s out “there” somewhere and I have to go find it. (Don’t act like you ain’t thought crazy stuff before. Don’t even go there..lol)

It was through the 3, 13-hour days (yes thirteen hours!) with the Landmark Forum that I found the missing piece. ME!!! Imagine my surprise when I realized that I’ve been the one responsible for keeping me from the very thing that I’ve been searching for??? I have been the missing piece to my happiness and I was there all of the time! I never felt more liberated!! I have been transformed by the renewing of my mind and I am free to create endless possibilities that have meaning for me. I have “nothing” to start with, AND THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF IT ALL!!!!

The Landmark Forum is not a religion nor is it a cult. It is not a forum by which to brainwash you, nor is it designed to diminish or erase your faith or belief system; but it will definitely serve to enhance it. It is an amazing program with a curriculum that requires you to look at your life—and the stories YOU’VE created that have kep you from living forward. Period.

I think it’s Jeffrey Osborne that sings the song with these words. . . “suddenly. . .life has new meaning for me. There’s beauty up above, and things you never take notice of; you wake up suddenly, you’re in love.”

I’m in love, y’all. With life, with myself, and with God all over again.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009 at 7:09pm
Well, the final session was last night. .

I am thankful for Landmark Education and the curriculum it uses to assist in transforming people’s lives. If you’re listening with your spiritual ear, you’ll hear the Word of God all up and through. They teach transformation (Romans 12:1) versus change because “change” doesn’t work—the more you try to “change” the more you stay the same. They encourage sharing amongst one another because people can often see themselves and find their victories through the testimonies of others (We overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. . . Revelation?). They stress that your words create your future (Duh!!!). And the list goes on. If you’re kind of stuck and can’t seem to figure out why, and you need a little something extra to push you into living your life fully, I highly recommend The Landmark Forum.

It’s intense and by no account will it be easy. You will be forced to look YOU in the past (yes, the past) to uncover those “stories” that have been keeping you from living life full out. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll discover—“stuff” that you didn’t know that you didn’t know! (Yep, that’s what I said.) I see life in a whole new light now. YES, God is still Master. . . Savior. . . .Jeeeeeeesus! And YES, I’m still saved by the Blood of the Lamb, and NO, I’m not losing my mind ‘cause I’m turning 50 this year! I just prayed and God gave me what I needed. And for that I couldn’t be more thankful.

"Remember not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the widerness, and rivers in the desert." saith the Lord. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

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