Something's Definitely Missing

I haven't been laughing enough.  Some things I need to just let go of and get over.  Some people, too. Cause I haven't been laughing enough.  And I haven't been praying enough.  I just don't know what to do about some things.  Some people, too.  That's how I know that I haven't been praying enough.  And for sure I haven't been "living outloud".  Not at all.  I'm doing everything in life except what I was created to do. And what I enjoy doing.  Explains the bordom and anxiety. Geesh.

I haven't been exercising either.  Not enough.  The fat around my belly, hips and thighs disgust me; yet I continue to eat and eat and eat cause food is just so good!! And comforting.  Thank God I love "healthy" foods!  I'd be a million pounds heavier!! Curling up in a corner on the couch with food is all I have felt like doing when I come home from work.  It's all I have the energy to do.  I need to be up dancing or walking or jogging or Zumba-ing.  Something!  I need to get it together.

I am not miserable. . .even though it may come across as though I am.  But I'm not.  I have less than some and way more than others.  Every need is met and wants are being fulfilled.  I'm healthy.  And happy for the most part.  I guess.  But i am not exceedingly happy.  And I want to be exCEEEEDingly happy.  Cause I deserve to be.

Something is definitely missing.