JaniceOmega!

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Alhambra by way of Long Beach, California, United States
About me: Everyday I am evolving, everyday growing, trying to conquer the fears that keep me from embracing the unlimited possibilities. I am working at creating a loving relationship with myself, making no apologies for who I was or who I am becoming. This is my life outloud.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

First Layer

Wednesday, July 29, 2009; 5:25 a.m.
Everything God created, every living thing, was created to worship Him. Plants, animals, birds, people, everything living was given life to worship God the Creator.

For me it’s a mandate, a call on my life. It is the first layer on the blank canvas of nothingness I created. W O R S H I P G O D ! He simply wants me to worship Him with my being; with my life. OUTLOUD! It is the first order of importance and will serve as the foundation to my genesis with Him. That’s it. That’s my focus. Right now it is the purpose He has on my life. I am to simply worship Him.

My only question is how does worshipping Him with my life look outloud? I only know singing; He wants my life! How does that look? How will I know I'm doing it?

I will draw nigh to Him and follow His instruction. I will listen and I will do exactly what He tells me to do. Today I am beginning the second part of my summer journey with that in mind. The majority of my travel will be alone and my first stop will be the family reunion. I will listen and I will do exactly what He tells me to do.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Split

Thursday, July 23, 2009; 1:48 a.m.

Therman and I have been traveling together, side by side, since July 5th. We have been all over the place and in most places he has provided a little bit of history to make it that more interesting. We have been in Chicago at Gen and Steve's since Tuesday afternoon. Today we split up.

He leaves for Utah at 2:00 p.m.; I fly out Friday for the weekend to sing at a wedding and attend a birthday celebration. We meet back in Chicago next week for the family reunion, but our travel together ends today.

Through our conversations we have shared our lives with one another. . .stories and information about our childhood that neither of us were aware of; and rightly so. I was born in 1959. . .he left the house in 1963 or 64 to attend the armed services, college, travel, and eventually live in another state. So we really just got aqcuainted with each other as brother and sister, and from that became friends. Really good friends. We also shared our reasons for the paths we've taken to be where we are now and the similarities in what we want out of life. And basically that is to just live out our remaining years as open and as freely as possible. We're committed to it.

I'm gonna miss those conversation and the laughter and just "being" with each other. I've learned soooo much from him. By no means is it over--we will continue to converse and laugh and "be" with each other, and we WILL travel together again. But for the next 2-3 weeks of this travel period I will be on my own. It certainly won't be the same. I'm gonna miss him.

What will I remember most? The first night we were in Connecticut at Ronnie and Jacqui's, we were sitting out on the terrace in their back yard. It was late. A beautiful night. We were just in awe of how good things were going and we were present to our own contentment and inner peace. It was like we were seeing or experiencing life for the first time and we were just happy to be right where we were right then. And then, at a sudden moment, we both, at the same time, became witness to God's presence and glory and magnificence. Together we felt Him just consume the air we were breathing. I almost felt myself gasp as though I had been holding my breath and was now released to breathe. I said, "Wow, I am so present with God right now!" He said, "Me, too." And after a moment of what I would describe as a holy silence he whispered, "Hallelujah, Janice." And it stayed silent. It was a powerful moment.

I love you, Therman.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Today in Stamford, Part II




And the choice is “c”. . . brunch at the Half Moon in the state of New York! Right on the Hudson River. Beautiful. Breathtaking. I just sat and took it all in. In the far distance I could see the Empire State Building which let me know Manhattan was not far away. (Far enough, though!) We ate and laughed and talked. On the way home we drove through Greenwich (pronounced “Grin-itch”) which is a ritzy, upper-class, area of Connecticut. Kennedy (my great niece) attends the Greenwich Academy, an all girls’ school. Kennedy’s in the 7th grade now! (We missed her and Tyler (great nephew) this trip. She’s spending the summer with her grandmother in Vallejo, CA and he’s attending summer school in Europe!!!) Greenwich Academy is Pre-K through high school and each grade level only takes 15 students! (Grades 5-8 is considered middle school and 9-12 is high school. They refer to high school as “upper”) When we got home Jacqui and I reclined on the couch and watched Marley and Me. The 3rd floor went completely untouched. (sigh)

Tomorrow we leave Stamford and head towards Chicago. We have a 3 hour stop in Washington, D.C. and we should arrive in Chicago sometime Tuesday.

Today in Stamford

Ronnie and Jacqui have an exercise facility on the 3rd floor of their home (Yes, third floor!). It is a mini gym. . . a personal trainer's dream!! The floor is complete with everything you need. . . treadmill, elyptical machine (I don't know how to spell it), free weights and a bench, an ab rocker, a t.v. AND a massage chair! It is amazing!! Now you would think that with alll of the food I've been consuming I would be making my way to that floor right about now. It's a few steps above me. There is absolutely no excuse. I could then go for a walk in this T.V. Land neighborhood!!! It's beautiful and peaceful. And everyone smiles at you. (At night, their house literally lights up the corner of Skyview and Blueberry and Pond. You gotta see it to believe it!) So, what do I do? It's five 'til ten. Should I a)put on some tennis shoes and go up stairs? or b) go walking? None of the above. Ronnie just knocked on the door and told me to be ready by 10:15 for brunch. Nooooooo problem!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Dear Therman. . .

It’s Friday morning, July, 17, 2009, 9:30 a.m. We’ve just boarded the Amtrak bound for Wilmington, Delaware to see Angela and her family. I’m snuggling in a seat in front of you next to a window and I suddenly feel soooo happy. So much so that my eyes fill with water. I turn to my left to look out the window and I see nothing but teeth!! My teeth grinning back at me confirming how happy I am! It’s at that moment that I realize how glad I am that you’re here; ‘cause I don’t think this journey would be happening if you weren’t. Thank you for coming home.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Leaving the South




Sunday, July 12, 2009

It’s early Sunday morning. . .somewhere between 4 and 5 a.m. Georgia time.
Monday evening we leave the south headed for the east coast. I’ve never been on the east coast so I’m excited about going; but I’m sad to be leaving the south.
I flew in July 3 for a 20 hour stay in San Antonio, Texas. I loved and enjoyed every minute of it. Being in the company of the Cushman’s is always a special treat. There was so much food and laughter and love. So much love. We were all “home”. . . there were no guests. Time was appointed for worship and prayer. And we did. We worshipped and we prayed. As the prophets in the house were led to do so, a word was given to whoever was being prayed for. I believe everyone got their need(s) met. I did. There was a defining moment for me. Yeah, that was definitely the highlight. (I’ll share more on that later)

The evening of July 5 I met up with Therman in New Orleans, Louisiana via Amtrak’s Sunset Limited. (My first train ride is another story in and of itself.) We spent the entire day (July 6) just hanging out. Me and Therman, in New Orleans, just hanging out. That was cool. The night before he promised we’d get coffee first thing in the morning at some place New Orleans was famous for. I was so ready for that. We found our way from the Parc St. Charles Hotel to our destination using the map he picked upt—or so I thought that’s how we found our way. I learned later that Therman’s method of finding his way is to walk in the direction that “feels right” making turns or back tracking as he is led to do so. Surprisingly it works!! We found the famous Café du Monde and landed right in the middle of the French Quarter and French Marketplace with just one “back track”, one “go straight” and one “right turn”! Using this method of his, he also found a corner expresso bar and café (The Envie) to hang out at while waiting for me to shop. I met him there at the end of my adventure through the French Market and we sat and talked for 3 or more hours!! We just talked and talked and laughed about any and everything. Whatever came up. There were no awkward moments. When we were quiet, we sat and enjoyed just being where we were. The rain was coming down, people were walking by having their own New Orleans experience, and we just sat soaking it all. I was in the moment. I felt it. . . I was present to it. It was serene. I’ll never forget that time together.

In the midst of all of that a student from Long Beach Poly High School quietly walked up, stood in front of me, and said, “Hi Ms. Valentine.” I had to stop and remember where I was!! Imagine that! She was with her parents, cousin, and aunt and uncle whom I had never met, and all of them went to Poly as well. And the uncle knew Herman and I think the aunt mentioned Mildred and Harold because they used to live, I believe, across from them on Delta!!! C’mon now. So there we were, a group of Poly Jackrabbits, on a street corner in New Orleans, Louisiana, celebrating our common ground and having a ball!

They left to resume their activities and Therman and I sat there a while longer before deciding we were hungry, or just needed to eat something. Again Therman led the way and we ended up at an outdoor place (I forget the name) and listened to the live jazz sounds of “Nawlin’s”. We ended the evening getting snacks for our 12+ hour train ride to Atlanta, Georgia the next day. I’ll always remember that time together.

Upon leaving New Orleans we were supposed to spend a couple of days in Birmingham, Alabama but as it turned out it just wasn’t an opportune time; so that gave us two extra days in Georgia. McDonough, Georgia. Henry County. We roomed with our niece Jaha in the house that Richard built. A tranquil oasis.

Aside from the orchestra of crickets at night it’s so quiet and peaceful. I managed to stop and just “be”. There were moments I was so present with God, the Holy Spirit, that I had to just stop and offer worship to Him. Here, at this segment of my journey, I was able to stay present to space I created for myself and DAILY remind myself of the purpose of this trip. On Monday we head for the east coast but I’m going to miss the south. I am cleansed and restored and revitalized because of my time spent in the south. It was a memorable beginning.

My Genesis

I have resolved to start the second half of my life from nothing. I have made peace with myself and my past and, as a result, I have created space to have a sort of genesis with God. It’s like I’ve created this blank canvas in my soul or my inner being that is void of expectations and limitations, disapproval. . .hang ups. . . unforgiveness. . .and I am so present to it. It brings with it such a peace and calmness that frees me up to just be. . . to live, breathe, and have my being in Him as the scripture says. I get it now!! I finally get it!! And God must really be excited ‘cause now He’s free to do what He’s been trying to do in and for my life!. Amazing.

So until God gives further notice, I’m just going to dwell in this space of “nothingness” I’ve created for myself. I like it alot!